The Chronic Business Owner

As with any new adventure, I have some reservations about this endeavor. Will I be successful? Do I understand the business concept fully? Will I be able to balance this without having a meltdown? As you know (or not), I am venturing out as a health coach/patient advocate for chronically ill patients. I think my personal and professional background are perfect for this. I’m excited, the concept and website have gotten much praise. It has potential to be great…

But I worry about my health and how I will be able to juggle this, my full-time as a Infectious diseases donor counselor, my novice relationship with my best friend and my overall well-being?

I’m most likely being the typical Virgo, over analyzing like I do best. But, it’s on my mind. I don’t want to take on too much and cause a flare up. Especially with the winter months coming up. I guess we’ll see. Cross that bridge when and if we get there. Stay optimistic, Jas. You got this.

The Behçets Beauty 

Oops! 

So… I ran out of the house this morning earlier than usual. Completely out of routine. Usually, I wake up, shower if I didn’t the night before, get dressed, take all of medications for the day, and then leave out. Today was completely spontaneous. I woke up, got distracted on the phone while trying to get out the house to run errands. 

Needless to say, I completely forgot to take my medications today. All of them. 😲 By the time I realized this I was too far away from the house to go back without being late for work.

 I haven’t fallen out, yet. Nothing crazy. But, it’s another one of those painstaking reminders that regardless of how good I feel or normal I look, you, my dear, are a Spoonie. You have a chronic illness that you must manage daily and efficiently to avoid dire consequences. 

This is a lesson for me to prep better. Set alarms to remind me of things this important. Count my dosages out the week prior and organize them in my pill box.

 I know, I’m only 30…  ain’t no one trying to do all of this geriatric shit this young. However, my life depends on it. I need to take it more seriously. Especially, days like this when I’m thrown off of routine. 

Hopefully,  I will be good for the rest of the day and just take everything when I get home tonight. Fingers crossed! 🤞🏾
The Behçets Beauty 

Talk About Prescriptions Month

How fitting that this month is Talk About Prescriptions Month, being that the average person with a chronic illness is on a plethora of drugs. Me, personally, I’m on… Hmm let’s see, Prednisone, gabapentin, plaquinil, vitamin D, prilosec, zoloft. I’m prescribed more, but I don’t take them. For what? The side effects are worse than the symptoms it allegedly treats. Then, of course I have my as needed meds. Meclizine, lidocaine, some topical steroid that I can’t remember the name of at this time. So, that’s like… What? Six daily. About 10-15 pills a day. It’s safe to say prescriptions are a major part of my life. I’ve weaned myself off of a lot unnecessary ones but, unfortunately, I still need a couple to maintain a suitable quality of life.

Prescriptions get a bad reputation, and please believe I hate pharmaceutical companies with a passion. But, at the same time, I’d honestly be dead or severely disabled without them. Some of these illnesses can’t be managed holistically. And it’s heart breaking. I’d love to just roll a joint and be straight for a few days. No side effects, no battling the insurance companies. Unfortunately, that’s not an option. Not legally in North Carolina, anyway. So, I stick to the minimum anti-inflammatories and watch what I eat. Stress management is a plus, too.

So, my fellow spoonies, what’s your prescription count? How many do you take on the regular? Do you have any prescription horror stories? Sound off, if you like.

Much love! ❤️

-The Behçets Beauty

Twenty Things That Define Me More Than My Disabilities

I saw this on a page I follow and think this is an awesome concept! You are NOT your diagnosis! Here are my 20 things that define me, what are yours?

1. I love history, particularly ancient history. Something about the antique world fascinates me. So simple, a magical time of Gods and myths.

2. My favorite color is purple. Purple is the color of royalty. Enough said. I’m a Queen.

3. I’m a huge science nerd. Life Sciences is my favorite. Specifically genetics and immunology. The body is such an amazing enigma. FB_IMG_1466722975685

4. I love anime. I thank my new love for reintroducing me to an old love. I’m startinG back on Death Note, and Attack on Titan. My all time favorite is Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and Sailor Moon. Dragon Ball Z is classic, as well.

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5. I’m a Harry Potter junkie! I’m still waiting on my Hogwarts letter. Do they have a graduate program? 20170122_191047

6. Hair is life. I’m always switching up my style. Lately I’ve been embracing the natural side and afrocentric roots. Fros, braids and locs, for the win! FB_IMG_1462152462379

7. I have a fur baby that I love too death! Oreo is my life. That catdog is something else. FB_IMG_1472215549279

8. Food is  (also) life. Seafood, Chinese and Italian are my favorites in that order.

9. I love accessories. Especially earrings and glasses. Can’t ever have enough.

10. I’m a healer by nature. I’m definitely what you would call a light worker. Empath, at best. Helping people makes me happy.

11. I am THE STEREOTYPICAL Virgo. Most analytical sign of the Zodiac.

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12. I have a fascination with the supernatural world. Vampires, werewolves, gods, Demons, angels… Etc. You name it, it’s probably on my Pinterest page.

13. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Currently plotting who I’m going to be this year. Somewhere between a ninja/Mortal Kombat character and Storm from X-Men. Sailor Mars was out of this year’s price range.

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14. I love to write. Been writing stories since I was 5. It’s a gift I plan on getting well reacquainted with.

15. Moana is awesome! The story line is so empowering of self-discovery and drawing power from within. I watch it more than Harry Potter, now that’s saying something.

16. I’m still going back and forth about pursuing a doctorate degree or starting my own consulting business. I love research, but I love helping people too!

17. I love to travel. I have been to Canada, the Bahamas, Honduras, Belize, Mexico and the grand Cayman Islands. My passport needs way more stamps.

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18. Bugs creep me out. Nope! We’ll never be friends!

19. I love orcas, elephants and jungle felines! They all just make my heart melt.

20. People think I’m very social and outgoing but I am extremely introverted. Solitude is my friend!

Behçet's and Borderline

  1. really love cats. Sometimes I look at photos of my mum’s cats and I cry because my they are such pure, good, sweet little babies.
  2. My favourite colour is green, because it makes me think of health, vitality, wellbeing, and things that grow.
  3. I’m a very passionate cook, and I like to experiment. On the rare occasions that I want to see people, I really enjoy making dinner for all my friends.
  4. I love baking. Every time I’m asked to bake a cake for someone’s birthday, I treat it like something out of GBBO. I’ll sit and draw out a cake concept and everything. It gets quite out of hand. I’d love to do a Bake Off type thing with friends some time.
  5. I’m polyamorous, which means I fall in love with more than one person at a time. I love easily, but I’m much slower to trust.
  6. I…

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The Other Dirty “D” Word

After a recent confession from a loved one, I feel the need to address depression again. This is not a joke. I almost lost a loved one. I just lost a best friend, I can’t deal. I know people say committing suicide is selfish, however, I honestly empathize with the notion. I get both sides. I have been the one about to take my life, and I have been the one saving a life. It’s not black and white, it’s not simple. But I do agree, it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

We tend to hold our grief in, especially the ones that are the rock and foundation for others. People always run to us when they are going through, but who checks on us? Who do we run to? Who saves the savior? We take on other’s burden, not even addressing our own. Then, that trigger comes and we’re at our broken point. And it’s no easy fix. You can’t just eliminate the source like an allergy, and all is well. Depression is real. It’s not a mood, it’s a diagnosis. It’s a condition. You can’t pray, buy, sex, smoke, or drink it away. Trust me, I’ve tried them all. But, it always catches up to you. In the end, you just have to find a way to deal, accept, receive and make peace with it. It is a part of who you are. And you have to accept all of you, not just the strengths. If anything, love your weaknesses more, they need the most attention and care.

My heart is broken that my loved one is hurting so much and there is nothing I can do to ease that pain. All I can do is be supportive. Tell them it’s going to be okay, but is it? Haven’t I been there? Are things really going to improve? I choose to be optimistic. I have survived those storms, and I honestly believe they will, too. And that goes for anyone going through right now, afraid to reach out in fear of people’s reactions. You’re not alone. There are people out here who understand, and I am a living testament that it can and will get better. There will always be ups and downs, but I promise you it’s worth it. You are allowed to take a break, but you are NOT allowed to quit. You have a heartbeat so that’s confirmation that you have a purpose. I support you, and I love you. And if you need to talk or vent, I’m here. And if I’m not available, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Line. They are available 24/7 via phone (1-800-273-TALK) or online chat. Please utilize it! You matter. I can’t stress that enough.

Love Always,

The Behçets Beauty